Parmer, Stephen

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NAME: Stephen Parmer


Picture: (Insert picture if available)

Date of Birth: 4/20/1955 (but you didn't see that. Stephen always claimed 1960.)

Date of Death (delete if non-applicable): 12/7/2002

Age at Death (delete if non-applicable): 47

Employment: bond lawyer

Social/Political Groups he attends/attended: ACT UP Philadelphia

Bars/Clubs he attends/attended: The Bike Stop, Woody's, 12th Air Command

His friends include: (type your name here, or names of others) Jonathan Albert, Chris Bartlett, Julie Davids, Daniel Hess, Ed Hermance, Tim Dunn, Peter Hiler

Testimonials to him (add a space before a new testimonial): From Michael Russell, Stephen's widower - Stephen was a gale force. He had enough personality for three people. He would reach from the grave to smack me upside the head if I tried to pretend he was always perfect and sweet, so I won't. Stephen could be overbearing, but he also had a huge heart full of love and a strong sense of social justice that made him a fiery member of ACT UP during the mid-90s. In 1993, he was instrumental in publicly humiliating then-Gov. Tom Ridge; that made him proud to his final days. He probably wouldn't have had his wonderful qualities without his flaws, so if you loved him, you had to take in everything about him.

Every year, he decorated our xmas tree so lavishly you could almost see it from space. He was always devoted to me, his mom and our siamese cats. He loved fine dining, dance music, Queen and going out to the clubs and bars. An army division couldn't part him from his beloved cigarettes and vodka (which he called his "voddies"). Before I met him, he rehabbed houses, and he would always decorate everything to the nines. One of his proudest possessions was an upright victrola he restored.

I wouldn't have become a teacher without his encouragement. He wasn't always right, but as he was older than me and my first serious relationship, he did drag me kicking and screaming into growing up. While I have a happy life now, I'll always remember him fondly. I've even found myself having fun being mock-offended and playfully yelling, "Heyyyyyy!!!!!" just like him.