Difference between revisions of "Doskus, Ray"

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[[http://zoestrauss.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html|From Zoe Strauss' blog:]][[#5105277223926667570]]Well, I'm not able to work. I'm going through the list of photos for the Silverstein show and working out the ordering and I'm just staring at the computer. I'm taking Ativan, but it's not helping me focus.
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I'm not upset, but I'm obsessively taking inventory of the events of the last few days over and over. I have a rough list of photos that will be included in the Silverstein show which has stayed the same for the last couple of months. Because of the way I edit and my overall process, I prefer to make the final decisions as close to the showing as possible; so much of where I place the images is based on intuitive feeling and although the changes in order are always fairly minimal, I can only be certain of the final placement in the 11th hour. Since I'm having this obsessive internal listing of moments, it's been very difficult to work on the final image choices and the sequencing of the images.
 +
 +
 +
Let me be direct about what's happened. A good friend, Ray Doskus, shot himself in the head a few days ago, on Wednesday.
 +
 +
Here is the truncated list that I keep going down-
 +
 +
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1. The phone call saying he's dead and to come to his house
 +
 +
2. A detailed account of what he looked like on the floor. His face, his wound, his right arm position, his clothing. He was dressed in a dark gray t-shirt and jeans with a white belt. Who puts on a belt to kill themselves?
 +
 +
3. Lynn arriving
 +
 +
4. The trip to the police precinct
 +
 +
 +
I just keep listing the order of events. There are a million more things that slip into this brief outline but the listing ends with waiting at the police precinct and then restarts with the phone call. This is not to say that I'm losing my mind, it's just that I feel a little foggy and if I slip from full concentration I go down the list of events again.
 +
 +
 +
And why am I putting this up in a public forum where anyone can read it? I don't know. Despite openness about all things in my life, I often think that we could use more restraint and dignity in this relatively new culture of constant exposure of private lives. In this blog I sometimes address very private and weighty things along side very frivolous things. This is how I am, these things are all happening at the same time and I have a desire to share them with whoever. But where does this information fit into the day to day shit that I put up? Again, I don't know.
 +
 +
 +
And why do I have a desire to share this intimate and private information with strangers? Is it a genuine need to share difficult moments with others who might take solace in knowing that we all have tragedies? Or is it purely self-involved, asking people to look at a trauma so close to me and my friends and family to generate sympathy and pity? Or is it both?
 +
 +
 +
It's too soon to know what's happening, but I am trying to work through the beginnings of the grieving process with actual work, just like my lady.
 +
 +
[[http:''zoestrauss.blogspot.com/2007/03/fuck-you.html|#]] posted by ZS @ 2:11 PM <span class="item-action">[[File:http://www.blogger.com/img/icon18_email.gif|18x13px|link=http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=11032049&postID=5105277223926667570]]</span><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-134912667">[[File:http://www.blogger.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif|18x18px|link=http:''www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=11032049&postID=5105277223926667570]]</span>
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[[#6120834063209792982]] #1
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Final Notations
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Adrienne Rich
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it will not be simple, it will not be long
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it will take little time, it will take all your thought
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it will take all your heart, it will take all your breath
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it will be short, it will not be simple
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it will touch through your ribs, it will take all your heart
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it will not be long, it will occupy your thought
 +
 +
as a city is occupied, as a bed is occupied
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it will take all your flesh, it will not be simple
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You are coming into us who cannot withstand you
 +
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you are coming into us who never wanted to withstand you
 +
 +
you are taking parts of us into places never planned
 +
 +
you are going far away with pieces of our lives
 +
 +
 +
it will be short, it will take all your breath
 +
 +
it will not be simple, it will become your will
 +
 +
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#2
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 +
Haiku Ambulance
 +
 +
Richard Brautigan
 +
 +
 +
A piece of green pepper
 +
 +
fell
 +
 +
off the wooden salad bowl:
 +
 +
so what?
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 +
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#3
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The New Poem
 +
 +
Charles Wright
 +
 +
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It will not resemble the sea.
 +
 +
It will not have dirt on its thick hands
 +
 +
It will not be part of the weather.
 +
 +
 +
It will not reveal its name.
 +
 +
It will not have dreams you can count on.
 +
 +
It will not be photogenic.
 +
 +
 +
It will not attend our sorrow.
 +
 +
It will not console our children.
 +
 +
It will not be able to help us.
 +
 +
 +
#4
 +
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Wonder
 +
 +
Langston Hughes
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Early blue evening
 +
 +
Lights ain't come on yet.
 +
 +
Looky yonder!
 +
 +
They come on now!
 +
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[[http://zoestrauss.blogspot.com/2007/03/1-final-notations-adrienne-rich-it-will.html|#]] posted by ZS @ 1:45 PM
  
 
Picture: (Insert picture if available)
 
Picture: (Insert picture if available)

Revision as of 15:26, 27 November 2009

NAME: Ray Doskus


Biography: Bass player for band Size Queen.


[Doskus]

DOSKUS RAY was 29 years old and had the uncanny ability to consume an entire pint of ice cream without suffering from the accumulation of unsightly back fat. A list of his many accomplishments include but is most certainly not limited to: Rockstar, humanitarian, gourmet, horror film afficionado, Brunch Jockey, collector of all things Jesus, Mary and Joseph, general wiseguy, wonderful, giving friend and loving father to a slew of baby dolls and a treasured cat named Beast Woman. Ray passedPublished on 2007-03-22, Page , Philadelphia Inquirer, The (PA) and Philadelphia Daily News (PA)


[blog posting about Ray]


Ray Doskus wasn't just your waiter at Morning Glory. He was a guitarist and a member of Size Queen — a sweet dude. He too has gone. "Ray taught me so much," says Jimi "Helen Back" Mooney, who shared the band Bottom with Doskus. (from [[1]]


[blog post is here.]


Doskus.jpg


[Zoe Strauss' blog:]#5105277223926667570Well, I'm not able to work. I'm going through the list of photos for the Silverstein show and working out the ordering and I'm just staring at the computer. I'm taking Ativan, but it's not helping me focus.


I'm not upset, but I'm obsessively taking inventory of the events of the last few days over and over. I have a rough list of photos that will be included in the Silverstein show which has stayed the same for the last couple of months. Because of the way I edit and my overall process, I prefer to make the final decisions as close to the showing as possible; so much of where I place the images is based on intuitive feeling and although the changes in order are always fairly minimal, I can only be certain of the final placement in the 11th hour. Since I'm having this obsessive internal listing of moments, it's been very difficult to work on the final image choices and the sequencing of the images.


Let me be direct about what's happened. A good friend, Ray Doskus, shot himself in the head a few days ago, on Wednesday.

Here is the truncated list that I keep going down-


1. The phone call saying he's dead and to come to his house

2. A detailed account of what he looked like on the floor. His face, his wound, his right arm position, his clothing. He was dressed in a dark gray t-shirt and jeans with a white belt. Who puts on a belt to kill themselves?

3. Lynn arriving

4. The trip to the police precinct


I just keep listing the order of events. There are a million more things that slip into this brief outline but the listing ends with waiting at the police precinct and then restarts with the phone call. This is not to say that I'm losing my mind, it's just that I feel a little foggy and if I slip from full concentration I go down the list of events again.


And why am I putting this up in a public forum where anyone can read it? I don't know. Despite openness about all things in my life, I often think that we could use more restraint and dignity in this relatively new culture of constant exposure of private lives. In this blog I sometimes address very private and weighty things along side very frivolous things. This is how I am, these things are all happening at the same time and I have a desire to share them with whoever. But where does this information fit into the day to day shit that I put up? Again, I don't know.


And why do I have a desire to share this intimate and private information with strangers? Is it a genuine need to share difficult moments with others who might take solace in knowing that we all have tragedies? Or is it purely self-involved, asking people to look at a trauma so close to me and my friends and family to generate sympathy and pity? Or is it both?


It's too soon to know what's happening, but I am trying to work through the beginnings of the grieving process with actual work, just like my lady.

# posted by ZS @ 2:11 PM 18x13pxlink=http:www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=11032049&postID=5105277223926667570

#6120834063209792982 #1


Final Notations

Adrienne Rich


it will not be simple, it will not be long

it will take little time, it will take all your thought

it will take all your heart, it will take all your breath

it will be short, it will not be simple


it will touch through your ribs, it will take all your heart

it will not be long, it will occupy your thought

as a city is occupied, as a bed is occupied

it will take all your flesh, it will not be simple


You are coming into us who cannot withstand you

you are coming into us who never wanted to withstand you

you are taking parts of us into places never planned

you are going far away with pieces of our lives


it will be short, it will take all your breath

it will not be simple, it will become your will


  1. 2


Haiku Ambulance

Richard Brautigan


A piece of green pepper

fell

off the wooden salad bowl:

so what?


  1. 3


The New Poem

Charles Wright


It will not resemble the sea.

It will not have dirt on its thick hands

It will not be part of the weather.


It will not reveal its name.

It will not have dreams you can count on.

It will not be photogenic.


It will not attend our sorrow.

It will not console our children.

It will not be able to help us.


  1. 4


Wonder

Langston Hughes


Early blue evening

Lights ain't come on yet.

Looky yonder!

They come on now!

[[2]] posted by ZS @ 1:45 PM

Picture: (Insert picture if available)


Date of Birth: 10/13/1962

Date of Death (delete if non-applicable): 3/14/2007

Age at Death (delete if non-applicable): 44


Employment: He worked at the Morning Glory Diner, 10th and Fitzwater Streets.


Social/Political Groups he attends/attended:


Bars/Clubs he attends/attended:


His friends include: (type your name here, or names of others) Joseph Ofalt


Testimonials to him (add a space before a new testimonial):