Muir, David Hunter

NAME: David Hunter Muir

Biography:

File:PGN Article, October 4-10, 1991.pdf

I am Hunter's mother, Madaline Muir, also known as Ahavia Lavana. Thank you for what you are doing. Hunter was born July 12, 1966 and died Sept. 6, 1991. He was 25. I wanted to edit his page and put those dates in but I don't know how to edit. I can add a picture when I scan one. But don't know how to add it which I would like to. Hunter was a Quaker, active in Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns, a Quaker organization and ACT UP. He worked at Spruce Street Video and later was an advertising representative and promotions coordinator for TLA Video. He had worked as a model before he was sick. He did film reviews on WXPN's Kids Corner and Gaydreams.He did much in his 25 years. He was a graduate of Moorestown Friends School in New Jersey. He was loved. Robert Drake did a write up with a picture of Hunter in his blog: http:djrobertdrake.blogspot. com/2006/02/hunter-gets- captured-by-game.html And here is a poem I have written about my son:

After the Death of One’s Child

‘It’s the worse thing that can happen to a parent!’The Worse thing!How can I laugh after the Worse Thing?How can I enjoy the sun, a kiss, to sleep,the Spring, a movie, Life…….,after the Worse Thing?

How am I expected to live if THEY,those who say that,could not envision themselves living,after the Worse Thing?

I used to think ‘What is wrong with me?But now I say‘Let me tell you about my wonderful son’.

Ahavia

Mother of All Things and All Things should wear a sweater.

http://ahavia.livejournal.com

[DAVID HUNTER MUIR, FILM REVIEWER ON RADIO]

David Hunter Muir, 25, who reviewed movies for children on a popular radio show, died Friday of complications from AIDS at Cooper Hospital-University Medical Center in Camden. Mr. Muir worked as a movie promoter for the Theater of the Living Arts on South Street in Philadelphia, as a model in the Philadelphia area and as a reviewer of films for radio station WXPN's Kids Corner show. Co-workers remembered him as a smart, politically active man with an infinite knowledge ofPublished on 1991-09-08, Page E19, Philadelphia Inquirer, The (PA)

David Hunter Muir

September 08, 1991|The Morning Call

David Hunter Muir, 25, of Philadelphia, formerly of Allentown, died Friday in Cooper Hospital, Camden, N.J., after an illness. He was a movie promoter for the Theater of the Living Arts of Philadelphia.

He was also a movie reviewer for The City Paper, Philadelphia, and host of the Kids' Korner Show on radio station WXPN, Philadelphia, where he reviewed children's books and videos. He also worked as a model in the Philadelphia area. He attended Temple University, Philadelphia, where he was majoring in theater.

Born in Allentown, he was a son of Madaline (Nebel) Muir of Camden.

Survivors: Mother; brother, Ronald J. of Northampton; sister, Shante of Camden, and maternal grandparents, Julius and Frances Nebel of Northampton.

Memorial services: 2 p.m. Oct. 12, Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting of Friends, 1515 Cherry St., Philadelphia. No calling hours. Arrangements, Alloway Funeral Home, 315 E. Maple Ave., Merchantville, N.J.

[Hunter Gets Captured By The Game (Robert Drake's blog)]

The year was 1984. Through a mutual friend I was introduced to an incredible human being, who's name only added to the mystique that seemed to envelop him constantly: Hunter Muir.

Hunter was just a teenager when we first met - grant it I was just 21, and I think he was around 18 or so. But he had such a level head on his shoulders at such an early age and we quickly realized that we had the same passion for movies and music and began to spend whatever rare free time I had, together.

His personal life was unique, as his mother was an openly-gay woman who was in a relationship with another woman ... i.e. Hunter had two moms. So, they warmed up quite easily to his own link=http:photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4157/502/1600/Image006.jpghomosexuality when he realized who he was and encouraged Hunter to meet other lesbian and gay friends and bring them over to their house in New Jersey. It was like a little queer youth group, hopping on the PATCO line to Ferry Avenue and it was lots of fun

... but the best times were when Hunter and I hung out alone.

Soon we were crossing that line from friendship to dating and spent the next year or so in a whirlwind of romance and excitement. We went to shows together - watched videos til sunrise and just bonded. We were both music whores - constantly buying records and making cassette mixes for our Walkmans. We kept our close friendship even while developing a relationship ... as much as one can develop a relationship at such a young age.

In 1986, Hunter grew restless. As much as we loved each other, he wanted to experience what the world had to offer. He had come out and fallen almost directly into a relationship - never understanding the freedoms of being a single gay male. We discussed this at length and i realized that, if I really loved him, I had to let him go. It was an evening of tears.

We remained great friends - although I sort of lost touch with him for about a year or so while I was dealing with my own life issues (see earlier posts). He was in school for film and was working with TLA Video. We reconnected in 1988, once I had gotten settled in my new position at the radio station. I actually folded him into my new world by having him as a regular guest on Kids Corner to talk movies for the family! He was perfect and it was wonderful to see him again. We went out to dinner a number of times and our friendship was in full swing once again. We never stopped loving each other, even after all those years.

Somewhere in 90/91, Hunter and I had a long conversation where he confided to me that he had tested HIV positive. I was devistated. Grant it, I had dealt with AIDS for almost a decade but this one was hitting me at an emotional level that I wasn't prepared for. I quickly felt to blame, since had I not let him go, he would have remained negative. After time, I understood the reality of the situation and moved away from that guilt.

I spent many hours by his side at his little apartment at 9/Pine, overstocked with vinyl and memories. I traveled to his mother's house once he moved home, unable to care for himself anymore. I visited him often and we had many conversations about the world and about what would happen once the world entered the 21st century. He listened to his mix cassettes constantly - his music was his medicine. It soothed the pain that had overtook both his body and mind and allowed him to escape to a land that was free of troubles.

I had long, emotional chats with his Mom over tea while Hunter slept in his bedroom - and when he woke and called out for someone ... anyone - one of us would go in and entertain. I sat with Hunter as dementia took over his mind and he was no longer able to recognize people or things. I remember him screaming in frustration once because his TV remote wouldn't work and when I went in to see what was wrong, i secretly took the 'remote' from his hand [which was actually a pack of cigarettes - he no longer recognized what a remote looked like] and said that the batteries were dead and went over to the other side of the room, tears streaming down my face as I picked up the actual remote and returned it to his hand with the news that I had put in fresh batteries. The channel changed, he was happy and went back to sleep.

I cried more than I can remember that year. During this same period my oldest friend Phil Maynard was also dying of AIDS. I met him when we were both 15 in NE Philly. We were best of friends though everything and he too suffered from dementia before dying. I shuttled myself from New Jersey to NE Philly - neither Phil or Hunter wanted to discuss the obvious all that often, so the visits were a complicated orchastration of movements designed to avoid the unavoidable. Like being in a room with an elephant but never mentioning the beast.

I was surrounded by people losing their mind and at times, felt like I was joining them in the process. When I wasn't at work or visiting either Hunter or Phil, I would return to my small apartment in NE Philly and just get high to forget. It never really worked.

Hunter went into a coma in the fall - and remained there for a few weeks before dying. His memorial service was held at the Quaker Meeting House at 15/Cherry and a week or so later, I went back to his Mom's house. link=http:photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4157/502/1600/Image008.0.jpgThere she gave me a shopping bag, which held a shoebox. Inside were all of Hunter's homemade mix cassette tapes.

The tapes he made in the late 1980s for pleasure. The tapes he listened to as he was dying, for escape.

I listened to those tapes for a few months after Hunter's death. Then I moved into Center City and stored them in my closet ... until last night. I've had them on ever since.

I miss Hunter more than I miss anyone. His was the hardest death I ever had to experience, but I wouldn't have done it any other way. I was there as he came out as a young bright-eyed gay teenager ... and I needed to be there when he went out as a proud young gay adult at just 25.

Posted by Robert Drake at 11:05 PM 18x13px link=http:www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=9577140&postID=113885584907964307 #comments

5 comments:

#c11388982387573126716x16px chinese roulette said...

I miss Hunter too.

He was the person who got me to come in Center City (when I was a totally closeted nutcase living in Kensington) and attend the youth group he later co-ran.

My entire life was a big ole bottomless pit of self loathing, and what I owe him for helping me out of it is quite beyond words.

He was a beautiful human being, and while I was not as fortunate in knowing him as well as you did (though I, of course, fell head over heels), the friendship he showed me touched my heart in a way that will be as strong twenty years from now as it was almost two decades ago.

Thanks for posting his picture, Robert.

It's wonderful to see him again.

xok

11:37 AM File:Http://www.blogger.com/img/icon delete13.gif #c11389972004118575616x16px Natalie said...

A very genuine tribute, Robert, to someone I am sad to have not known.

3:06 PM File:Http://www.blogger.com/img/icon delete13.gif #c11390285739309501116x16px Liz said...

How tragic. It just brings up all that pain again. What a horrible frightening time and aids is still taking lives. I'm so sorry for your lose.

11:49 PM File:Http://www.blogger.com/img/icon delete13.gif #c11393108899115169216x16px Valorie Zimmerman said...

What a cruel death. I don't believe that "the good die young," but it seems so here. Rest in Peace, Hunter.

6:14 AM File:Http://www.blogger.com/img/icon delete13.gif #c11412799844515121516x16px Ahavia Lavana said...

Dear Heart, This is Ahavia, Hunter's Mom. His brother, Ron put Hunter's name in Google and found your blog. Thank you for remembering Hunter. He is in my heart with every breath I take. I miss his friends.

I am at [[1]]

I would love to talk to you.

Ahavia, mother of all things and all things should wear a sweater.

[Part Two]

In going through old boxes - some that have remained sealed since their arrival to my new home back in 1993 - I found some pictures and memories. Before I get to those, I wanted to get to this: another picture of Hunter, along with a letter he typed and sent to his friends on June 25, 1991 - about five months before he died.

The note reads as follows:

As many of you know I spent time in the hospital during the Christmas (1990) season. I was besieged by your typical X-mas schmaltz: endless cookies made by nurses, children caroling in the halls, and insipid television. The entire experience was horrible. I became so sick they were calling in relatives, but I found a savior.

There is a Christmas carol 'Oh Holy Night' that for some reason I found so inspirational. There is a line in it that goes fall on your knees'//. That was such a powerful image. And when I was at my worst, I //'fell on my knees. I was brought mail, postcards and parcels from you beautiful people. The FLGC grapevine had sprung into action. Some of the mail was hysterical, some touching. People included photographs. It was an overwhelming passion sweeping over me. I want to thank you all. And it is wonderful that I'm here to write this. You guys have my address; drop me a line. I need passion these days.

Love and Peaches,

Hunter

link=http:photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4157/502/1600/Image005.0.jpgI hear ya Hunter. We all need passion these days. I've been enjoying your mix cassette tapes this week - each song seems to have a story! Like the time we went to the Palladium and danced for hours and smuggled in our own booze!

Amazing times my friend. Amazing.

I miss you most of all but I hope you know that we down here still carry you close to our hearts. Until then...

Love and Peaches :)

Picture: (Insert picture if available)

Date of Birth: 6/12/1966

Date of Death (delete if non-applicable): 9/6/1991

Age at Death (delete if non-applicable): 25

Employment:

Social/Political Groups he attends/attended:

Bars/Clubs he attends/attended:

His friends include: (type your name here, or names of others)

Testimonials to him (add a space before a new testimonial):